The Truth Behind Union Representation

How Far Would You Go To seiu_meetingHelp People?

This is where you get when you spend decades making the proverbial sausage of union deals.

When I was young boy, I wanted to be a firefighter. Cliché, I know. But the reason was simple: besides the glory and the cool uniform, it was the ability to help people in immediate need that got me all giddy, the ability to be a hero.

Flash forward a decade in change and I had just graduated college with my whole life ahead of me. During those years of growing up I learned a thing or two about reality, and understood that perhaps my lanky build and aversion to extreme weather meant that I wasn’t quite cut out to save people from burning buildings. But thankfully, there were a plethora of occupations that could help people. I could s1917_IWWtill be the hero I wished to be.

I was recruited by SEIU in the year 1972 as an “analyst” in their Philadelphia branch. However, I quickly discovered that I wouldn’t be doing much analyzing. Instead, I ended up shadowing a muscly guy named Bulldog, whose job was to physically coerce businesses to have SEIU represent their workers.

It was extortion, intimidation, evil. But I was young, impressionable and thoroughly excited by the full force of labor representation. I remained a recruit analyst for years, and I witnessed terrible things at the hands of unions. Broken bones, asphyxiation, and near death beatings. I stood by and I watched for years. And then one day I participated. I remember the day: cold, wet, the company’s VP tied to a chair pleading Bulldog not to hurt him. It wouldn’t be the last time.

I have never forgotten that day.

Ultimately I took over for Bulldog when he retired from the business. You might be asking, how can someone with a lanky build do what Bulldog did? Well I came around at the right time, just as the industry was shifting away from violent coercion towards a more intellectual, more “humane” form of extortion. My job was now to ruin people’s lives and reputations through systematic campaigns until they gave into our demands.

Oh, how it worked. I became a major asset to the union – responsible for bringing thousands upon thousands of workers to SEIU. But the more power I wielded the cockier I became, and the more I felt I should be fairly compensated for my large amount of positive influence.

When SEIU didn’t want to raise my salary, I told them to buzz off and transferred to another union. By the end of my career not long ago, I had been an enforcer for roughly a dozen different unions.

It’s hard to repent for my sins, because I know they are unforgivable. I used to convince myself that what I was doing was for the ultimate good, but when that excuse wore off I would just throw up my hands and say that’s the way the world works.

But I was wrong, and I’ll never truly forgive myself. I’ve seen the darkest depths of the labor industry, and I’ve seen it from all sides. I’ve done bad things for unions and their rivals, and I can tell you without any allegiances that they’re all a hard-to-attain level of scum.

I hope that this blog – sharing the evils of the union world – is my form of repentance and reckoning for the bad things I’ve done in the name of good.


2 thoughts on “Confession

  1. Sounds like to me the Mob is alive and well in this new age of information. I also think that if you ant to repent, you probably need to do a little bit more than write a blog. 😉 It’s a nice start, though.


  2. I was lucky not to see up-close this side of the union process, but know it’s out there. Like you said, it’s all much slicker now, and a lot more psychology aimed at the average worker.


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